The Underwear Gnomes of Lakota Schools: Why do they have a COO

When it comes to waste, we are seeing a lot of that these days, and as we do, remember that public schools are nothing but free babysitting services for busy parents, paid for by taxpayers to support radical labor union structures that are politically dangerous to any healthy society. So there is a cost to that free babysitting service.  Sure, both parents might work to buy things that might impress their neighbors, who are doing the same to try to impress them. In the end, everyone ends up miserable, and the next generation of kids gets all messed up in the process.  And while all that is going on, a bunch of really dumb people with access to over a quarter of a billion dollar budgets fumble around like the three stooges, making mistakes with every step, and try to cover it all up at school board meetings as if they are masters of the universe.  And that is the real problem with the leaked discussions about Chris Passarge, the Chief Operations Officer at Lakota schools, and some money that mysteriously disappeared due to his alleged mismanagement of $64,000.  I have heard several people tell me this story, which the media hasn’t reported on, and likely won’t, as it is under investigation at the large, northern Cincinnati public school.  And my first reaction to it was, why does Lakota Schools have a COO?  Their entire business model is the Underwear Gnome endeavor from the popular cartoon South Park.  They collect money from taxpayers; they throw it into a big basket.  Then the labor union pays itself enormous amounts of money and goes on summer-long vacations.  And when it’s all gone, they ask for more.  Why is there a need for a COO?  And while the people were telling me this story, I kept thinking that $64K is a lot of money to you or me.  But in proportion to these public school budgets, like Lakota’s, it’s a slight drop in a vast ocean, and many administrators take advantage of the system, siphoning money off the top.  We receive reports frequently from people who are, or were, married to these individuals, and numerous free vacations often result from those positions.  It’s not too hard to figure out where that money went.

I have a long-standing interest in this topic. Years ago, I was one of the key individuals featured in an I-Team Report for Channel 9.  They used to hear me on WLW radio all the time talking about these issues, and they conducted a thorough investigation into one of my pet peeves: the issue of whether school superintendents were equal to private sector CEOs, which I thought was laughable.  John Kasich was the governor of Ohio at the time, and we did a whole segment with the I-Team on how most of Ohio’s biggest schools had superintendents who were being paid significantly more than the governor of Ohio, and for what?  I knew a lot then and know a lot more now. Many CEOs and COOs, as well as other types of leadership designations from the private sector, were doing things that were a lot more valuable as to those in public schools.  I had done all this well before Trump was in office, and I went through all the things he did now, which I had already experienced back in 2010 through 2012. Over time, I learned who I could trust at these news organizations and who I couldn’t.  Eventually, I created my own media because there were so many hooks into the public schools that depended on easy money, making it difficult to trust anyone. As a result, I stepped away from doing so much radio and television, as my blog proved to be much more effective. 

But this recent Lakota story regarding Chris Passarge being under investigation wasn’t surprising at all.  It was outrageous to this newer generation of parents telling me about it because this is all new to them.  I’ve observed this over a long period, and what I find most shocking is that these individuals continue to give themselves titles like CEO, COO, and CFO.  All these public schools are just playing house and pretending to be kids, living in a grown-up world.  They are playing with plastic food and pretending to work fake checkout lines in their parents’ basement.  There is no effective management of public schools, and all the money taken from taxpayers is wasted on unnecessary expenses.  It’s a ridiculous scam that people are too busy to pay attention to, but that’s all the public education experience is, and I can say that from years of experience.  This story with the Lakota COO is no different than the South Park story of the Underwear Gnomes, where little people would break into people’s houses to steal their underwear in the middle of the night.  The South Park kids wanted to find out why the Gnomes were doing this, so they followed them one night to a tree deep in the woods and caught the little creatures red-handed.  It was at that point that the Gnomes explained their business model, which is essentially the same as what Lakota schools provides at school board meetings when they try to explain a budget of over $250 million. 

The Gnomes’ business model was to steal underwear.  Their step two was a mystery to them.  They had collected piles of underwear, but it was still stacked in the tree waiting for something to happen that would make them a lot of money.  However, they had step three all worked out; their goal was to make a profit.  Everything was great; they were happy stealing underwear and storing it in their tree.  And they knew they wanted to make a lot of money.  However, they had no idea how to complete the middle part, specifically the step 2 portion of their business plan.  And that is precisely what Lakota school administrators are like.  It’s not a surprise at all that Chris Passarge could lose such a large amount of money.  What is most surprising to me is that they refer to him as a COO.  He’s just a tax looter stealing money from the public and distributing it to a bunch of government employees who want an easy living, grooming children into liberal politics.  And if a free vacation to some Bahamas cruise comes out of it, with a cover story of being an “education conference” is where that $64K went, it would not at all be surprising.  And the media doesn’t cover the story because they have kids and drop them off at these schools while they run around the city covering every cat that gets stuck in a tree, so they can buy a new car and impress some nosy neighbor, who is equally worthless.  But they want to think that Chris Passarge knows what he’s doing.  But he doesn’t.  None of them do, that’s why they work in government schools, they are all Underwear Gnomes pretending to be enterprising public servants.  But what they are, are small-minded pretenders playing house with taxpayer money, and hoping that nobody notices that they have no plan, but to steal money, put it into a bank account, and then give it to unionized employees for work nowhere near good enough.  And they call that public education.  However, the Underwear Gnomes refer to it as making a “profit.” 

Rich Hoffman

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