As I was doing research for the Duck Dynasty story, (CLICK HERE FOR REVIEW) I ran across an extremely well done video remake of the “Legs” video, by ZZ Top. I thought the video remarkable not for the pornographic nature of it but the content. In it a young man enters a lair of beautiful women situated in various provocative poses. Scattered throughout are other young men who appear to have coupled with some of the women, but the young man does not stop and linger on any of the girls. Instead, he proceeds on until he finds the ultimate beauty which is the apparent object of his quest. For me the video represents the best I have seen on YouTube during the year of 2013. Upon watching it I was immediately reminded of the story the King of Erin and the Lady of Tubber Tintye.
I have told the story of the Lady of Tubber Tintye to my entire family, particularly the women. It is the classic goddess motif summed up within a story of a typical hero adventure. Yet it is so precisely told as to the psychological problem that young men all share and how all societies fundamentally function that I think it has tremendous merit. I ran into the story through my studies of Joseph Campbell, and over the years have argued with several feminists—who went on to write their doctorial thesis on this story as evidence that feminism rules the universe. Only most of them missed the point of the story. Feminists tend to cherry pick the academic observations of people like Campbell who translated generations of mythological tales into the lens of progressive interpretation—which destroys the nature of the story—which was the point of the doctorial thesis interpretations. So what I’d like to do is present to you Dear Reader the story of Tubber Tintye and the King of Erin, then at the end I’ll explain what’s going on and how it applies to that ZZ Top video. The sum of that explanation has the power to restore our society and is not to be taken lightly, or brushed off carelessly as didactic pornography. I will highlight in bold below the passage of the story as it most applies to the aforementioned video. Then I will break down how this metaphor has a direct impact on our current society. Please take the time to read this carefully. It’s very important.
The King of Erin and the Queen of the Lonesome Island
THERE was a king in Erin long ago, and this king went out hunting one day, but saw nothing till near sunset, when what should come across him but a black pig.
“Since I’ve seen nothing all day but this black pig, I’II be at her now,” said the king; so he put spurs to his horse and raced after the pig.
When the pig was on a hill he was in the valley behind her; when he was on a hill, the pig was in the valley before him. At last they came to the sea-side, and the pig rushed out into the deep water straight from the shore. The king spurred on his horse and followed the black pig through the sea till his horse failed under him and was drowned.
Then the king swam on himself till he was growing weak, and said: “It was for the death of me that the black pig came in my way.”
But he swam on some distance yet, till at last he saw land. The pig went up on an island; the king too went on shore, and said to himself: “Oh! it is for no good that I came here; there is neither house nor shelter to be seen.” But he cheered up after a while, walked around, and said: “I’m a useless man if I can’t find shelter in some place.”
After going on a short space he saw a great castle in a valley before him. When he came to the front of the castle he saw that it had a low door with a broad threshold all covered with sharp-edged razors, and a low lintel of long-pointed needles. The path to the castle was covered with gravel of gold. The king came up, and went in with a jump over the razors and under the needles. When inside he saw a great fire on a broad hearth, and said to himself, ” I’ll sit down here, dry my clothes, and warm my body at this fire.”
As he sat and warmed himself, a table came out before him with every sort of food and drink, without his seeing any one bring it.
“Upon my honor and power,” said the king of Erin, “there is nothing bad in this! I’ll eat and drink my fill.”
Then he fell to, and ate and drank his fill. When he had grown tired, he looked behind him, and if he did he saw a fine room, and in it a bed covered with gold. ” Well,” said he, ” I’ll go back and sleep in that bed a while, I ‘m so tired.”
He stretched himself on the bed and fell asleep. In the night he woke up, and felt the presence of a woman in the room. He reached out his hand towards her and spoke, but got no answer; she was silent.
When morning came, and he made his way out of the castle, she spread a beautiful garden with her Druidic spells over the island, – so great that though he travelled through it all day he could not escape from it. At sunset he was back at the door of the castle; and in he went over the razors and under the needles, sat at the fire, and the table came out before him as on the previous evening. He ate, drank, and slept on the bed; and when he woke in the night, there was the woman in the room but she was silent and unseen as before.
When he went out on the second morning the king of Erin saw a garden three times more beautiful than the one of the day before. He travelled all day, but could not escape, – could not get out of the garden. At sunset he was back at the door of the castle; in he went over the razors and under the needles, ate, drank, and slept, as before.
In the middle of the night he woke tip, and felt the presence of the woman in the room. “Well,” said he, “it is a wonderful thing for me to pass three nights in a room with a woman, and not see her nor know who she is!”
“You won’t have that to say again, king of Erin,” answered a voice. And that moment the room was filled with a bright light, and the king looked upon the finest woman he had ever seen.
Well, king of Erin, you are on LonesomeIsland. I am the black pig that enticed you over the land and through the sea to this place, and I am queen of LonesomeIsland. My two sisters and I are under a Druidic spell, and we cannot escape from this spell till your son and mine shall free us. Now, king of Erin, I will give you a boat to-morrow morning, and do you sail away to your own kingdom.”
In the morning she went with him to the sea-shore to the boat. The king gave the prow of the boat to the sea, and its stern to the land; then he raised the sails, and went his way. The music he had was the roaring of the wind with the whistling of eels, and he broke neither oar nor mast till he landed under his own castle in Erin.
Three quarters of a year after, the queen of Lonesome Island gave birth to a son. She reared him with care from day-to-day and year to year till he was a splendid youth. She taught him the learning of wise men one half of the day, and warlike exercises with Druidic spells the other half.
One time the young man, the prince of Lonesome Island, came in from hunting, and found his mother sobbing and crying.
“Oh! what has happened to you, mother? ” he asked.
“My son, great grief has come on me. A friend of mine is going to be killed to-morrow.”
“Who is he?
“The king of Erin. The king of Spain has come against him with a great army. He wishes to sweep him and his men from the face of the earth, and take the kingdom himself.”
“Well, what can we do? If I were there, I’d help the king of Erin.”
Since you say that, my son, I’ll send you this very evening. With the power of my Druidic spells, you’ll be in Erin in the morning.”
The prince of Lonesome Island went away that night, and next morning at the rising of the sun he drew up his boat under the king’s castle in Erin. He went ashore, and saw the whole land black with the forces of the king of Spain, who was getting ready to attack the king of Erin and sweep him and his men from the face of the earth.
The prince went straight to the king of Spain, and said, ” I ask one day’s truce.”
“You shall have it, my champion,” answered the king of Spain.
The prince then went to the castle of the king of Erin, and stayed there that day as a guest. Next morning early he dressed himself in his champion’s array, and, taking his nine-edged sword, he went down alone to the king of Spain, and, standing before him, bade him guard himself.
They closed in conflict, the king of Spain with all his forces on one side, and the prince of Lonesome Island on the other, They fought an awful battle that day from sunrise till sunset. They made soft places hard, and hard places soft; they made high places low, and low places high; they brought water out of the centre of hard gray rocks, and made dry rushes soft in the most distant parts of Erin till sunset; and when the sun went down, the king of Spain and his last man were dead on the field.
Neither the king of Erin nor his forces took part in the battle. They had no need, and they had no chance.
Now the king of Erin had two sons, who were such cowards that they hid themselves from fright during the battle; but their mother told the king of Erin that her elder son was the man who had destroyed the king of Spain and all his men.
There was great rejoicing and a feast at the castle of the king of Erin. At the end of the feast the queen said: ” I wish to give the last cup to this stranger who is here as a guest; ” and taking him to an adjoining chamber which had a window right over the sea, she seated him in the open window and gave him a cup of drowsiness to drink. When he had emptied the cup and closed his eyes, she pushed him out into the darkness.
The prince of Lonesome Island swam on the water for four days and nights, till he came to a rock in the ocean, and there he lived for three months, eating the seaweeds of the rock, till one foggy day a vessel came near and the captain cried out: ” We shall be wrecked on this rock! ” Then he said, “There is some one on the rock; go and see who it is.”
They landed, and found the prince, his clothes all gone, his body black from the seaweed, which was growing all over it.
“Who are you? ” asked the captain.
“Give me first to eat and drink, and then I’ll talk,” said he.
They brought him food and drink; and when he had eaten and drunk, the prince said to the captain: “What part of the world have you come from?
“I have just sailed from Lonesome Island,” said the captain. “I was obliged to sail away, for fire was coming from every side to burn my ship.”
“Would you like to go back?”
“I should indeed.”
“Well, turn around; you’ll have no trouble if I am with you.”
The captain returned. The queen of Lone-some Island was standing on the shore as the ship came in.
“Oh, my child!” cried she, ” why have you been away so long?”
The queen of Erin threw me into the sea after I had kept the head of the king of Erin on him, and saved her life too.
“Well, my son, that will come up against the queen of Erin on another day.”
Now, the prince lived on Lonesome Island three years longer, till one time he came home from hunting, and found his mother wringing her hands and shedding bitter tears.
“Oh! what has happened?” asked he.
“I am weeping because the king of Spain has gone to take vengeance on the king of Erin for the death of his father, whom you killed.”
“Well, mother, I’ll go to help the king of Erin, if you give me leave.”
“Since you have said it, you shall go this very night.”
He went to the shore. Putting the prow of his bark to the sea and her stern to land, he raised high the sails, and heard no sound as he went but the pleasant wind and the whistling of eels, till he pulled up his boat next morning under the castle of the king of Erin and went on shore.
The whole country was black with the troops of the king of Spain, who was just ready to attack, when the prince stood before him, and asked a truce till next morning.
“That you shall have, my champion,” answered the king. So there was peace for that day.
Next morning at sunrise, the prince faced the king of Spain and his army, and there followed a struggle more terrible than that with his father; but at sunset neither the king of Spain nor one of his men was left alive.
The two sons of the king of Erin were frightened almost to death, and hid during the battle, so that no one saw them or knew where they were. But when the king of Spain and his army were destroyed, the queen said to the king: ” My elder son has saved us.” Then she went to bed, and taking the blood of a chicken in her mouth, spat it out, saying: “This is my heart’s blood; and nothing can cure me now but three bottles of water from Tubber Tintye, the flaming well.”
When the prince was told of the sickness of the queen of Erin, he came to her and said: ” I’ll go for the water if your two sons will go with me.”
“They shall go,” said the queen; and away went the three young men towards the East, in search of the flaming well.
In the morning they came to a house on the roadside; and going in, they saw a woman who had washed herself in a golden basin which stood before her. She was then wetting her head with the water in the basin, and combing her hair with a golden comb. She threw back her hair, and looking at the prince, said: ” You are welcome, sister’s son. What is on you? Is it the misfortune of the world that has brought you here?”
“It is not; I am going to Tubber Tintye for three bottles of water.”
“That is what you’ll never do; no man can cross the fiery river or go through the enchantments around Tubber Tintye. Stay here with me, and I’ll give you all I have.”
“No, I cannot stay, I must go on.”
“Well, you’ll be in your other aunt’s house tomorrow night, and she will tell you all.”
Next morning, when they were getting ready to take the road, the elder son of the queen of Erin was frightened at what he had heard, and said:
“I am sick; I cannot go farther.”
“Stop here where you are till I come back,” said the prince. Then he went on with the younger brother, till at sunset they came to a house where they saw a woman wetting her head from a golden basin, and combing her hair with a golden comb. She threw back her hair, looked at the prince, and said: “You are welcome, sister’s son! What brought you to this place? Was it the misfortune of the world that brought you to live under Druidic spells like me and my sisters?” This was the elder sister of the queen of the Lonesome Island.
“No,” said the prince; “I am going to Tubber Tintye for three bottles of water from the flaming well.”
“Oh, sister’s son, it’s a hard journey you ‘re on! But stay here to-night; to-morrow morning I’ll tell you all.”
In the morning the prince’s aunt said: “The queen of the Island of Tubber Tintye has an enormous castle, in which she lives. She has a countless army of giants, beasts, and monsters to guard the castle and the flaming well. There are thousands upon thousands of them, of every form and size. When they get drowsy, and sleep comes on them, they sleep for seven years without waking. The queen has twelve attendant maidens, who live in twelve chambers. She is in the thirteenth and innermost chamber herself. The queen and the maidens sleep during the same seven years as the giants and beasts. When the seven years are over, they all wake up, and none of them sleep again for seven other years. If any man could enter the castle during the seven years of sleep, he could do what he liked. But the island on which the castle stands is girt by a river of fire and surrounded by a belt of poison-trees.”
The aunt now blew on a horn, and all the birds of the air gathered around her from every place under the heavens, and she asked each in turn where it dwelt, and each told her; but none knew of the flaming well, till an old eagle said: ” I left Tubber Tintye to-day.”
“How are all the people there? ” asked the aunt.
“They are all asleep since yesterday morning,” answered the old eagle.
The aunt dismissed the birds; and turning to the prince, said, ” Here is a bridle for you. Go to the stables, shake the bridle, and put it on whatever horse runs out to meet you.”
Now the second son of the queen of Erin said:
“I am too sick to go farther.”
“Well, stay here till I come back,” said the prince, who took the bridle and went out.
The prince of the Lonesome Island stood in front of his aunt’s stables, shook the bridle, and out came a dirty, lean little shaggy horse.
“Sit on my back, son of the king of Erin and the queen of Lonesome Island,” said the little shaggy horse.
This was the first the prince had heard of his father. He had often wondered who he might be, but had never heard who he was before.
He mounted the horse, which said: ” Keep a firm grip now, for I shall clear the river of fire at a single bound, and pass the poison-trees; but if you touch any part of the trees, even with a thread of the clothing that’s on you, you’ll never eat another bite; and as I rush by the end of the castle of Tubber Tintye with the speed of the wind, you must spring from my back through an open window that is there; and if you don’t get in at the window, you ‘re done for. I’ll wait for you outside till you are ready to go back to Erin.”
The prince did as the little horse told him. They crossed the river of fire, escaped the touch of the poison-trees, and as the horse shot past the castle, the prince sprang through the open window, and came down safe and sound inside.
The whole place, enormous in extent, was filled with sleeping giants and monsters of sea and land, – great whales, long slippery eels, bears, and beasts of every form and kind. The prince passed through them and over them till he came to a great stairway. At the head of the stairway he went into a chamber, where he found the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, stretched on a couch asleep. ” I’II have nothing to say to you,” thought he, and went on to the next; and so he looked into twelve chambers. In each was a woman more beautiful than the one before. But when he reached the thirteenth chamber and opened the door, the flash of gold took the sight from his eyes. He stood a while till the sight came back, and then entered. In the great bright chamber was a golden couch, resting on wheels of gold. The wheels turned continually; the couch went round and round, never stopping night or day. On the couch lay the queen of Tubber Tintye; and if her twelve maidens were beautiful, they would not be beautiful if seen near her. At the foot of the couch was Tubber Tintye itself, – the well of fire. There was a golden cover upon the well, and it went around continually with the couch of the queen.
“Upon my word,” said the prince, “I’ll rest here a while.” And he went up on the couch, and never left it for six days and nights.
On the seventh morning he said, ” It is time for me now to leave this place.” So he came down and filled the three bottles with water from the flaming well. In the golden chamber was a table of gold, and on the table a leg of mutton with a loaf of bread; and if all the men in Erin were to eat for a twelvemonth from the table, the mutton and the bread would be in the same form after the eating as before.
The prince sat down, ate his fill of the loaf and the leg of mutton, and left them as he had found them. Then he rose up, took his three bottles, put them in his wallet, and was leaving the chamber, when he said to himself: “It would be a shame to go away without leaving something by which the queen may know who was here while she slept.” So he wrote a letter, saying that the son of the king of Erin and the queen of the Lonesome Island had spent six days and nights in the golden chamber of Tubber Tintye, had taken away three bottles of water from the flaming well, and had eaten from the table of gold. Putting this letter under the pillow of the queen, he went out, stood in the open window, sprang on the back of the lean and shaggy little horse, and passed the trees and the river unharmed.
When they were near his aunt’s house, the horse stopped, and said: ” Put your hand into my ear, and draw out of it a Druidic rod; then cut me into four quarters, and strike each quarter with the rod. Each one of them will become the son of a king, for four princes were enchanted and turned into the lean little shaggy horse that carried you to Tubber Tintye. When you have freed the four princes from this form you can free your two aunts from the spell that is on them, and take them with you to Lonesome Island.”
The prince did as the horse desired; and straightway four princes stood before him, and thanking him for what he had done, they departed at once, each to his own kingdom.
The prince removed the spell from his aunts, and, travelling with them and the two sons of the queen of Erin, all soon appeared at the castle of the king.
When they were near the door of their mother’s chamber, the elder of the two sons of the queen of Erin stepped up to the prince of Lonesome Island, snatched the three bottles from the wallet that he had at his side, and running up to his mother’s bed, said:
“Here, mother, are the three bottles of water which I brought you from Tubber Tintye.”
“Thank you, my son; you have saved my life,” said she.
The prince went on his bark and sailed away with his aunts to Lonesome Island, where he lived with his mother seven years.
When seven years were over, the queen of Tubber Tintye awoke from her sleep in the golden chamber; and with her the twelve maidens and all the giants, beasts, and monsters that slept in the great castle.
When the queen opened her eyes, she saw a boy about six years old playing by himself on the floor. He was very beautiful and bright, and he had gold on his forehead and silver on his poll. When she saw the child, she began to cry and wring her hands, and said: ” Some man has been here while I slept.”
Straightway she sent for her Seandallglic (old blind sage), told him about the child, and asked:
“What am I to do now?”
The old blind sage thought a while, and then said: “Whoever was here must be a hero; for the child has gold on his forehead and silver on his poll, and he never went from this place without leaving his name behind him. Let search be made, and we shall know who he was.”
Search was made, and at last they found the letter of the prince under the pillow of the couch. The queen was now glad, and proud of the child.
Next day she assembled all her forces, her giants and guards; and when she had them drawn up in line, the army was seven miles long from van to rear. The queen opened through the river of fire a safe way for the host, and led it on till she came to the castle of the king of Erin. She held all the land near the castle, so the king had the sea on one side, and the army of the queen of Tubber Tintye on the other, ready to destroy him and all that he had. The queen sent a herald for the king to come down.
“What are you going to do?” asked the king when he came to her tent. “I have had trouble enough in my life already, without having more of it now.”
“Find for me,” said the queen, “the man who came to my castle and entered the golden chamber of Tubber Tintye while I slept, or I’ll sweep you and all you have from the face of the earth.
The king of Erin called down his elder son, and asked: ” Did you enter the chamber of the queen of Tubber Tintye?”
“I did.”
“Go, then, and tell her so, and save us.”
He went; and when he told the queen, she said:
“If you entered my chamber, then mount my gray steed.”
He mounted the steed; and if he did, the steed rose in the air with a bound, hurled him off his back, in a moment, threw him on a rock, and dashed the brains out of his head.
The king called down his second son, who said that he had been in the golden chamber. Then he mounted the gray steed, which killed him as it had his brother.
Now the queen called the king again, and said:
“Unless you bring the man who entered my golden chamber while I slept, I ‘II not leave a sign of you or anything you have upon the face of the earth.”
Straightway the king sent a message to the queen of Lonesome Island, saying: ” Come to me with your son and your two sisters!”
The queen set out next morning, and at sunset she drew up her boat under the castle of the king of Erin. Glad were they to see her at the castle, for great dread was on all.
Next morning the king went down to the queen of Tubber Tintye, who said: “Bring me the man who entered my castle, or I’ll destroy you and all you have in Erin this day.”
The king went up to the castle; immediately the prince of Lonesome Island went to the queen.
“Are you the man who entered my castle?” asked she.
“I don’t know,” said the prince.
“Go up now on my gray steed! ” said the queen.
He sat on the gray steed, which rose under him into the sky. The prince stood on the back of the horse, and cut three times with his sword as he went up under the sun. When he came to the earth again, the queen of Tubber Tintye ran over to him, put his head on her bosom, and said:
“You are the man.”
Now she called the queen of Erin to her tent, and drawing from her own pocket a belt of silk, slender as a cord, she said: ” Put this on.”
The queen of Erin put it on, and then the queen of Tubber Tintye said: ” Tighten, belt! ” The belt tightened till the queen of Erin screamed with pain. “Now tell me,” said the queen of Tubber Tintye, “who was the father of your elder son.”
“The gardener,” said the queen of Erin.
Again the queen of Tubber Tintye said:
“Tighten, belt! ” The queen of Erin screamed worse than before; and she had good reason, for she was cut nearly in two. ” Now tell me who was the father of your second son.”
“The big brewer,” said the queen of Erin.
Said the queen of Tubber Tintye to the king of Erin: ” Get this woman dead.”
The king put down a big fire then, and when it was blazing high, he threw the wife in, and she was destroyed at once.
Now do you marry the queen of Lonesome Island, and my child will be grandchild to you and to her,” said the queen of Tubber Tintye.
This was done, and the queen of Lonesome Island became queen of Erin and lived in the castle by the sea. And the queen of Tubber Tintye married the prince of Lonesome Island, the champion who entered the golden chamber while she slept.
Now the king of Erin sent ten ships with messages to all the kings of the world, inviting them to come to the wedding of the queen of Tubber Tintye and his son, and to his own wedding with the queen of Lonesome Island.
The queen removed the Druidic spells from her giants, beasts, and monsters; then went home, and made the prince of Lonesome Island king of Tubber
What is missing from our modern age is that the Lady of Tubber Tintye types, the goddesses of our society have been destroyed by feminism. The goal of such goddesses in tales such as this is to provoke in young men the ultimate prize. To apply this story to the ZZ Top video above, the hero protagonist could have stopped and engaged in sexual delight with any of the previous women of the Lady’s chamber, but he held out until he discovered the ultimate prize. However, along the way he witnessed many men had fallen for the women in the first few rooms—and those men were of lower quality. They had failed in their quest—and settled.
The modern progressive approach to this problem because not all women can be of a quality like the Lady of Tubber Tintye is to make them equal to the guys in the first few rooms—the failed ones who settled too easily and quickly for sexual gratification. If one were to break down the fundamental mentality of all progressive philosophy and how it directly applies to Common Core education, feminism, gay rights, and government statism—at the core of their approach is the destruction of such goddess symbols in our society.
The reason is that such women become matriarchs of their families and the destruction of family units are what progressives are after—so that the collective state will replace the matriarch and patriarch of the modern family. By removing the Tubber Tintye type women from culture, statists take away the incentive for strong-willed men to proceed along looking for the perfect sexual experience. By destroying the image of the goddess which most men yearn for—like the guy in the ZZ Top video—they force all men to settle with common women in the first few rooms with a kind of intellectual orgy arranged by progressives for their benefit.
I married a Lady of Tubber Tintye. She made me work hard for the bliss of her spinning couch. And because she did, I valued our relationship. And because I valued that relationship, the products of that union, the children, the nieces, the nephews, the in-laws, all the aspects of it have increased value because of my raised awareness of their importance—again brought forth by the struggle to resist the temptation to pick women from the first couple of rooms—the common girls who were only booby traps to hold intellectual pursuits suppressed with a sexual ecstasy that is conciliatory—not ecstatic. The tragedy is that not all women are qualified to be Lady’s of Tubber Tintye, just as all men are not qualified to be The Prince of Lonesome Island. But all men and all women should strive to be—even if they fall short. Because such struggles are what bring forth quality, higher quality people, higher quality relationships, and higher quality intellects. Through the struggle of existence—in this case of the Prince of Lonesome Island to seeking three bottles of water from a sacred well at Tubber Tintye, we solve the problems of living life.
Stories like this Tubber Tintye story have a level of sophistication that is not present in our current society. With all the tools available to the 21st Century human being—we are more asleep than ever, primarily because of the imposition that global politics has played through the progressive movement to redefine the roles that rest at the heart of social psychology. The political and social progressive is attempting to recreate the human mind and they are failing. The intention is to destroy the motive of individual achievement in favor of statism. Young men are discouraged from attempting to win their Lady of Tubber Tintyes by removing through feminism women who are capable of raising the level of society through their goddess power.
A woman does not have to be beautiful in the classic sense to be a Lady of Tubber Tintye. They may not have physical beauty. However, what is in their heart must compensate, and many women fall into this category. They may lack sexual prowess, but harness motherly care that husbands and children both yearn for. They may not be as beautiful as the women in the ZZ Top video, but are beautiful in other ways that cannot be photographed. For the sake of story, physical beauty is the proper metaphor for the kind of beauty that comes from such women.
I have yet to see an academic from any of the mainstream colleges, the Yale types, the Harvards, the Oxfords who can pass through a college professor gatekeeper an interpretation of that Tubber Tintye story without slanting it toward the modern interpretation of feminism as advanced through progressive theory. Just as progressives have done with the gay rights dialogue, they have attempted to capture the message by redefining the words. In the case of the Tubber Tintye story the definition of “goddess” has been changed by modern academia not to hold sexual superiority to men, and a boon to the world through phallic power achieved because of the desire to win a woman, but to make the woman the equalizer of all society—by making them equal to men. The men as they enter the various chambers of the Lady of Tubber Tintye mostly fall victim to the women of the first twelve rooms. They did not have the power in themselves to hold out until the last room where the golden lady resided. Most of the time they are like the Queen of Erin’s sons—cowards conceived out of adulterous lust and shameless value. This initiation process brought forth the trial and tribulations which allowed the young prince to solve the problems of his kingdom. Under modern progressive interpretation, the message to all women is to be one of the girls in the first rooms so there is no ultimate goal at the end on a golden couch. Make it easy for the men so they are all equal, and make it easy for all the other girls, since they are not goddesses, but only gate keepers to the ultimate prize.
Out of my hundreds of daily readers I am aware that only two or three will read this entire story—and understand what the purpose is. But for those two or three, I do the work because it is extremely important to understand. Without a firm understanding of these basic concepts, society will be destroyed and redefined by inferior minds built by the lazy good for nothings in the first few rooms of that ZZ Top video. The video itself was clearly done by filmmakers aware of this Tubber Tintye story. For commercial reasons it was done in a sexy way to entice viewers. However, the reason the visuals work on a primal level for males, and females is that they understand the story of Tubber Tintye from an innate appreciation of such stories. Most every young boy dreams of growing up and slaying dragons, and winning a woman like the one in the Tubber Tintye story. From the ages of 1 to 12 they all have a chance of hitting it big time with such a woman. However, once they begin to use sex as proof of their manhood they tend to make concessions and end up often with the kind of women in the first few rooms—airheads that look nice, but have little really going on behind the eyes. The men who jump at such women might find them in real society in brothels, escort services, strip joints, or ladder climbers at their places of business. If they take on those kinds of girls they’ll never reach their own version of the Lady of Tubber Tintye at the end of the long hall in the 13th room.
The job of all women is to attempt to become a Lady of Tubber Tintye, and not to settle in their lives into being one of the try-out girls on the way snagging up all the weak-minded men. The progressive movement is entirely about destroying the Lady of Tubber Tintye types so that no man has the option of one. In such an absence, personal kingdoms collapse to the will of statism and government can rule every individual mind as the sex obsessed must cohabitate with all the would be Prince of Lonesome Island. This story is my Christmas present to my readers—even though I know most people will not understand it. I have to try. Understanding this story is the key to the freedom movement and the proper restoration of the American family. Understanding this story will destroy progressivism and restore health to all world cultures—if only people would accept the root definitions of the role women have to a man’s mind, and how important that role is to the preservation of mankind. I’m not talking about a throwback to the times of the cowboy, or the 1950s, but the primal underpinnings of mythology that reside as far back as the first flicker of fire from an emerging Neanderthal.
If you are a woman, be the Lady of Tubber Tintye to your family. If you are a man, be the Prince of Lonesome Island. In the ZZ Top video, the protagonist is a modern Prince. Be that guy—and you will not only save yourself, your future family, but all of humanity by avoiding the easy girls in the first rooms of temptation. Save your energy for the Lady on the Golden Couch in the 13th room, because only she is worth the effort and that effort will save the world and everyone in it. The Lady of Tubber Tintye is Ariel from the film The Litter Mermaid, she is Princess Leia from Star Wars, she is Christine from Phantom of the Opera—she is every major character in every major story in the history of all stories. The Lady of Tubber Tintye is even Mia Wallace from the film Pulp Fiction—it doesn’t matter that she was a drug addict—she as the goddess who had the power to pull Vincent Vega into a place he had never considered going before. She is the Virgin Mary who brought Jesus into the world, or depending on religious conviction, she is Mary Magdallen who served as inspiration to stand up to the Pharisees in the darkest of times prior to his conviction and execution. Every major successful story has a Lady of Tubber Tintye—even in The Lord of the Rings where the female goddess image has been replaced metaphorically as The Shire, which is an actual place. Galadriel, Arwen, and Éowyn, serve as the typical goddess figures, Galadriel pulls the Hobbits together for the bravery needed for their quest, Arwen does the same for Aragorn and Eowyn performs this task for her entire kingdom ultimately saving her father from the treachery of Worm Tongue and the forces behind him. But the female goddess of Tubber Tintye is the actual Shire for the purposes of plot. All good stories have a Tubber Tintye character just as all good families do, and marriages. Without some goddess figures in the lives of the men, everything perishes—plot, motivation—even the willpower to get out of bed in the morning. Is it any wonder that so many young men cannot find the ambition to get up in the morning………..when sex is placed so easily before them in the first few rooms of their life—what is their to work for? The answer is nothing.
Men and women are not equal. They are different. Men need women to provide intended focus. Those who do not have women in their lives tend to drift through life unfocused and full of folly. On the other hand, women will look for many years and wait patiently for their own version of the Prince of the Lonely Island. Some go their entire lives continuing to look for him—even after they have long married and had children. Social pressure often pushes them into the arms of men they marry to please their parents, but their hearts are seldom in it. That was the story of Francesca Johnson from the novel The Bridges of Madison County which mysteriously sold over 50 million copies. The story featured a four-day affair with the noble character Robert Kincaid after years of marriage to a good man—but a common farmer not worthy of her healing power on the golden couch—not willing to take water out of a flaming well for anybody so long as the crops were ready for the state fair. More contemporarily, she is Anastasia “Ana” Steele the 21-year-old college senior attending Washington State University in Vancouver, Washington taming through sexual bondage the billionaire 27-year-old Christian Grey. All those stories feature a goddess figure that heals the world through her love and power. If that element is removed, the story falls flat nearly 100% of the time. And the results are absolutely no different in real life—when a strong female is not driving quality in her relationships, the world falls apart. She is different from men who do not have this power. Men have the power to slay dragons and wage war with each other—but women provide the context for the value in it. If the woman is corrupt, then the endeavor becomes corrupt. If the woman is righteous, such as in the Lady of Tubber Tintye—there is goodness for all as a direct byproduct of her effort.
These things cannot be escaped from—they are the rules of life. They cannot be willed from existence such as progressives hope to do with homosexual endorsements. Men and women cannot be made equal with hope and prayers. Such equality cannot be given through legislation. The desire for the Ladies of Tubber Tintye is deep in the heart of all people everywhere. It comes out in our oldest and newest stories and are legends for a reason. Stories that do a good job at capturing the latest Tubber Tintye version make millions of dollars not because of some trick, but because these are the stories that people crave to see—as there is a truth in those stories that cannot be reached any other way. The lesson, which is captured so eloquently in the ZZ Top “Legs” video, is that the message that still has the most power in our culture whether it be a movie, a song, or an ad for sunglasses—is the woman is the vehicle to reach some higher place. Get a better job get a better woman. Drive a better car, get a better woman. Dress nicely, get approval from better women. Put on cologne, and gain the attraction of better women. Goddess figure women are the dominate drivers of culture from selling jeans to automobiles. Advertisers who have experimented with more gender neutral images find that their sales plummet, because the world is driven by the image and promise of the Lady of Tubber Tintye. Women do not function from the same mentality. They know innately that they are trying to appeal to be that woman from the golden couch. They get their nails done hoping their men will work to appeal to them, their hair, their ear rings, their perfume, their diets—all in a hope of finding a Prince of the Lonesome Island who will seek their well of flaming water. If they are lucky women, they marry such Princes, but most don’t. They instead become bitter hags, school levy supporters, progressive bitches and detriments to all humanity. They spend billions of dollars a year to try to pretend they are Ladies of Tubber Tintye, but because of their poor decisions, are simply women of that first room—taken by the most impatient and weak men lacking the willpower to hold out for the best of the best—the woman on the Golden Couch spinning at the center of the world and the power that drives everything.
I could write a book about this topic and make a lot of money from it. If I wanted to, I could probably take this act on the road and do speaking engagements on the topic. But I offer it to those here with the gumption to read it for free. It is my hope that you Dear Reader will take the time to read and study all this and learn from it. If you do, the world can begin to solve some of its problems, and in the end—that’s all I want.
Rich Hoffman
