Tag: dads

Racism is not the Problem in America: Its a lack of good fathers–the truth about ‘White Privilege ‘

Truly the source of the problems we are seeing, and the ease for which our youth, and media are striving toward socialism is for one primary reason, they are lacking stable fathers in their lives and they seek government to give them what a nuclear family could not. If you took a sample of all the rioters for Antifa, all the protestors of the communist organization Black Lives Matter, and the suburban white women who have made themselves part of the #METOO movement you will find most of the participants are lacking good fathers in their lives and that missing piece to their childhood psychology is why they are lost as young people now, unable to deal with the world and looking to government for a parental replacement. And what they are calling white privilege, or privilege of any kind if peeled back to all the sentiment is a jealousy that the people they are protesting against had good parental structure and opportunities in life largely because they grew up with a father who taught them the basics in life.

My daughter actually pointed this out to me as she was thinking about Father’s Day and shared with me a website on YouTube called ‘Dad, how do I’. The guy running the site started his channel during all the Covid-19 lockdowns and within a few weeks, has literally millions of viewers, much more people are watching his new material than are watching CNN for instance, just to provide some scale. And that doesn’t surprise me. It is quite clear that biologically for our nurturing as humans starting in childhood, we need input from two parents. We need our moms for lots of security needs, at least until we become teenagers in life. But we need dads too, to show us how to change tires, deal with interacting with the world at large, and how to solve basic problems. The current problems of our times is largely a progressive problem where our institutions have messed around with the biological natures of our species and they failed. For all the reasons that Democrats are wanting to rip down the statues of the past because it was they who owned slaves and fought for slavery in the Civil War, and they want to erase their involvement as much as possible, the same group of people, Democrats, progressives, and weak kneed Republicans have not stood up for dads and the important role that a solid family structure plays in the production of the next generation. Instead, they have experimented with replacing the nuclear family with government and those who have accepted have watched their lives be destroyed with the huge void that is left in them during that process.

Its not that America is a racist nation, far from it. There is no more diverse group of people on earth than those who come from many skin colors and nationalities to join under the rules and conduct of American life. But certain sectors of our government have sought to use those skin colors to create voting blocs for their own election process. Inner cities come to mind where Democrats have essentially put people of color back on a new kind of plantation. Government took away the efforts of fathers, by doing their jobs for them leaving millions and millions of young people to grow up without fathers and the rage is obvious. Of all the protestors we see on the news turning over cars and burning them, and destroying storefronts looting the content, I would be surprised if we found a single person in those mobs who grew up with a good father, or could find them on a map in their current state. When protestors proclaim that white privilege or privilege of any kind exists what they are really asking for is that everyone be equally miserable, that government destroy the good families out there so that everyone is working from the same equally bad playing field. It has nothing to do with racism, but everything to do with good families who teach their kids right and wrong, living in a world of competition with people who had very little family structure growing up.

Government is trying to cover up the father issue, because they are the ones who made the mess. They are quick to allow people to think that the issue is a racism one, because if people thought about the problem long enough, they would discover that the real result of inner city breakdowns, or the poor living conditions in any community, it was government attempting to take over the lead roles in a typical family pushing out the father, caring for the mother and the kids that are produced under those conditions tend to grow up to become wrecks of people spending the rest of their lives lost and afraid of literally everything—because they didn’t have a dad around to show them how to solve problems, like to turn a wrench, work on a gun, change a tire on a car, or even how to hook up a water hose to a house spigot. Government knows they have screwed up so they hope now that they can appease the Frankenstein monsters that they have created by shifting the blame to racism and historic blunders, instead of the real cause, governments tampering with families to minimize the role of fathers in them, and taking over the management of a family so that the members look to government for the traditional guidance men always played in making good families.

I say all the time, and I use gentlemen clubs often as the best example because they are such deplorable cases of what’s rotten with people, strippers and prostitutes are the direct result of having a bad relationship with their fathers. I would dare say that not a single girl working in those industries had a healthy relationship with their dad and that unfortunate situation is the cause of them picking that way of life to make a few bucks while they are young and pretty. And grown women who are not quite stable and have too many screwed up relationships in their lives could trace their problems back to having a not so good dad in their lives. But the problem could be said to be present in both sexes, we just notice it more in women because within a family structure they tend to lead the rules and parameters, so if those conditions are screwed up from the start, it is unlikely that a mom is going to know how to create a good family as an adult, and they will pass on their disfunction to the next generation. So of course, the key to fixing these problems that we are seeing is not more government, more philosophy from Karl Marx, or even more education. It starts with a dad and a mom staying together and working to create a family that teaches children important things they will need when they are adults, like knowing how to use a screwdriver, how to fix a grill, or how to use a saw to cut some wood. When these basic things are not taught, then the products of those environments are going to be looking for excuses as to why failure finds them in life. And government will try to hide their role in the mess by blaming racism, or some other mask that hides the real problem—a lack of fathers in the lives of the people causing all the trouble. And that is the truth that nobody is willing to face, which is why it’s a mystery to so many people how to deal with this current crisis. But its actually quite easy to fix once we push government out of the family making business, because like everything they touch for a lot of reasons, they screw it up every time.

Cliffhanger the Overmanwarrior

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Being the Best Dad in the World: The secret is in priorities, tenacity, and judgment

I had a really nice Father’s Day this year. My grown-up girls came to see me and treated me to a really great day and I had a chance to see all the grandkids and we had a tremendous amount of fun. But I didn’t know it until the next morning what they had written about me on their social media accounts which was the best thing of all. It was my oldest daughter who wrote the little testament below, but my youngest had a bit to add which I share only as an example for others to follow. One thing I will openly admit about myself is that I work extremely hard literally every minute of every day to be the best that I can be. Being the “best” is a value judgment, so I am certainly not one of these people who believe in living and let live kinds of people who profess that no judgments about others should be made. I judge everything, literally, and I see that as a very healthy thing for the human condition, and as a father I didn’t hold back with my kids. I always put them first no matter what I personally might have wanted to do and made sure that they lived in a stimulating environment while they worked out their intellects protected by the very many bad people in life from within our families and out side of them, so that they could developed into the great people they are today. They are now at the age where they can appreciate all that effort and they let me know how they felt on Father’s Day.

Honestly, I think I may have been, and am the best father in the history of fathers. Again, I aim to push myself in everything I do, I want to be the best at everything—so if I’m going to go to the truly ominous step of bringing lives into the world, I did make several conscious decisions to ensure that those lives would get a very special treatment from my job as a father. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it better than anyone had thought was previously possible and looking back on it now, with all the difficulties of raising specifically girls in a world that is trying to push them in all kinds of inauthentic directions, I am very proud of the job. I’ve never claimed to be humble in any way, so I don’t mind showing off a bit how proud I am of my kids and how much they care about me because I hope it serves as an example to others that a successful relationship with their children is not only possible, but its encouraged.

So what makes a father so important and how could one become the “best?” Well, don’t listen to any examples from modern movies. Don’t look to literature, comics or your next-door neighbor. Don’t look at politics or even to the limits of your own upbringings. Most of the time, the parental influences from the previous generations fall short of greatness because they were taught that they were supposed to be meek and weak, and humble before God. Speaking from experience if I had been the kind of person who waited for God to solve my problems my family wouldn’t be what it is today. Thinking of one example, I was working three jobs, one full-time, two part time and one of them was a grill cook at Wendy’s near Kings Island. My neighbors across the street from my home where my kids lived were drug dealers and they had a teenage son that offered my kids dope while they were riding their bicycles. My wife showed her anger at this and instead of the kid yielding to the activity out of respect, he invited over to his house every thug in Mason to gather on their front lawn and yell at my wife—essentially to force her to stay inside the house and not to watch their activities. They were trying to scare her into silence.

We only had one car and I always left the car with my wife so that if something happened with the kids she could take care of it. But on this day there was a yard full of roughly 30 teenage thugs in front of our house making it so that my kids couldn’t play in front of our house. She had tried to call the police, but at that point the police were clearly on the side of the drug dealers. I found out later that the local police were getting a cut of the money from the family because I approached the mayor on the issue and that’s how I learned it. So the police had labeled my wife as one of those neurotic types who called the police too much, so they wouldn’t come to break up the activity, and the teenage kids seemed to know it feeding their aggression. That left my wife with only one option, she called me at my Wendy’s job and asked me to come home and solve the problem. So I left and rode my bicycle the 8 miles it took to get back to my house, while it was pouring rain, and I arrived about 20 minutes later to the scene of the spectacle. My daughter who wrote the nice little article shown here had my bullwhip ready to give me because she knew I was going to fight all those kids and she thought I’d need it. I grabbed it and set to challenging all those kids at the same time to a fight. I unloaded on them in one of the most epic rampages I’ve had in my life. It wasn’t the only one, but it was certainly one of the best. I had no idea at the time if I’d be arrested for charging onto the property of a neighbor and threatening to kill all their punky kids. So I figured I better make the whole thing count.

As it turned out the parents of the house wanted nothing to do with the police coming to break up the fight and having it known what they actually had at the house in the form of drugs. The local cops obviously knew, but the police department itself really couldn’t afford for this house to be exposed in the news, so the mom came outside and called all thirty of those kids into the house, for which they strangely obeyed. They left me standing outside with my bullwhip ready to kill someone, all by myself with the entire neighborhood watching. I stayed out there pacing around for a half hour fully expecting the police to arrive as someone would have surely called them. But the police never came and eventually I went back into our house to speak to our family.

When my kids talk about some of the crazy stories from them growing up, this is one of them, although not the greatest. But for me it was one of those father moments when I thought I was going to go to jail for doing all the right things. If the house across the street hadn’t been “politically sensitive” I obviously would have for threatening to kill 30 minors. A few of them were over 18 but most were between 15 and 18 and what I was doing was certainly against the law. But I had to do what had to be done to protect my family. As a result of that escapade we went into a two-year cold war with that family and several others who lived on our street, but my kids were free to ride their bikes in front of our house without anybody bothering them. Eventually, the police told us that if we wanted to live in a nice neighborhood, that we should move to one instead of trying to make the place we lived in Mason a neighborhood to our standards. I took the issue to the mayor’s office of Mason, but he had no stomach for any of it, which pointed obviously to a much deeper corruption within our community that we otherwise wouldn’t have known about. I always thought that our neighborhood was nice and that the community of Mason was on the uptick, which it obviously was looking back on things, but there were lots of middle class people living there who wanted drugs, especially pot, and that family across the street was happy to bring it in for them, and the police were happy to help as long as they were able to get their hands on some extra cash.

Being a great father means sometimes you have to do things like that, even though your own personal comfort is certainly not a consideration. In my situation, I was literally working 110 hours a week and we only had one car so I was riding a bicycle to all these jobs. I never had extra money in my pocket for snacks in the vending machines, I could never afford to treat myself to anything, except for the many books that I did buy to read during my breaks so that I could get smarter and work myself out of such a tough position. Being a good dad means you put the kids first in front of everything, because if you bring them into the world, you better make sure they get everything they need, even when it doesn’t seem fair that a father should have to go so far. Over the next twenty years after that event, there would be many more challenges, some of them outright scary. But kids expect fearlessness out of their parents, and its especially the job of a father to give it to them, so that they know when they lay their heads down each night that someone is shielding them from the evils of the world, so that they can intellectually develop properly. At some point they need to become those people for their own kids, and it is a much easier job when they have some example to live off of and I consider myself a great dad because even with many events like the one described, I still took time to make sure my kids felt that the world was a good place that would bend to their will, if they had the will to do it. So for me, it was greatly satisfying to have them tell me their thanks on this particular Father’s Day in 2018.

As a person I’ve had a very adventurous life and it has at times been very dangerous. I’ve been involved with real life mobsters, (long story from a long time ago) been in conflicts where people died, been in trouble at just about every level of our court system, worked with politicians at all levels, worked every kind of job imaginable, had to defend myself countless times, sometimes violently. I’ve been around the world and seen a lot of different things, I’ve been at the top of the world career wise and at the lowest of the low barely getting by. But at no point in all those experiences did I not put my children first. For example, often I would work a 16-hour 2nd and 3rd shift on a Saturday and instead of sleeping I would go with the family to Kings Island for the day to show the kids a good time. At 4 PM I went back to work as they went home and I had no sleep, and I’d do another 16 hours of work after that. During all this I wrote a few books, and still pursued creative projects and the kids noticed, and as adults they appreciate all that effort. And that is the best Father’s Day gift of all, and for me I am happy that they are happy. Because that’s what it was all for. In that context I can say that I was the best father that anybody could hope for, and that type of effort is what it takes to call yourself one.

Rich Hoffman

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“Dad, It’s Only ISIS,”: SNL’s controversy cuts to a deeper issue about raising girls

A lot has been said over the first week of March 2015 about the Saturday Night Live skit that divided the Internet over the controversial Dakota Johnson short involving ISIS taking her away from her father. When I first saw it, I laughed hard, not because of the ISIS reference which seemed to soak up all the attention, but for another reason. In the skit Dakota Johnson speaks to her father played by Taran Killam as if she were being dropped off at college. It was a touching kind of thing that we have seen before in so many romantic comedies. But just as the young daughter leaves her teary eyed father for what looks like the last time she says, “Dad, it’s only ISIS.” That’s when the audience realizes that the father’s little girl is not going off to college, or moving out on her own, she’s joining the high-profile terrorist organization which is actually happening to some families.

Many thought that ISIS reference wasn’t a joking matter; others defended the skit as a bold act of defiance. That’s not what I saw.

I have raised two daughters and had to marry both of them into families of their own. I know what it feels like to let a daughter leave your care. For me, it was much harder because I was excessively close with my daughters. I was not a “hands off” dad, we always did a lot as a family together so we were unusually close. The biggest rage of my life was in watching young boys come to my house to take my kids on a date. I tried really hard to understand that the process was a natural part of children growing up, so I internalized a lot of it for the sake of everyone. One time though I nearly killed a whole car load of those little scum bags when they picked up one of my kids at 11 PM for a date, one of the boys with their shirt off. It was not the kind of courtship I had spent many hours of my life preparing my daughter for. It wasn’t necessarily her fault; it was the culture at large. The young boys she had to pick from were just so terrible that if she spent her whole life looking for just the right guy that her daddy would approve of, she’d be an old spinster to this day. But from my perspective nothing good happens to a girl past 12 AM especially in a car load of guys on the prowl. So I have had my experiences and they were miserable at best. My kids were good, so there wasn’t much of that. If they had been bad kids its highly likely I’d be in prison over some anger management issue now.

I know it’s unfair so I try to be sympathetic to the young boys who weren’t raised by me. They didn’t know why I was so mad, or what I expected because they were raised with far different backgrounds—so I kept my self from being overly intrusive—largely because that dating phase is the last step in raising children—and at that point you better be ready to trust your children. For insecure parents not confident in the tools of intellectual aptitude they have given their children they must worry about their kids doing something stupid. I never felt that way; my issue was always that the boys tended to have a biological interest in my daughters as opposed to a genuine respect for their cerebral matter. Those boys wanted to satisfy themselves at the expense of my many years of hard work, so I took it as a personal insult that they’d show up at my house treating my girls like a piece of meat to be conquered. One little slug actually had the gall to argue with me in my living room about Chick-fil-A and its position on gay rights. Well, Chick-fil-A in my house is sacred, so I didn’t need some little progressive snot-ball ignorant to the ways of the world telling me anything. To this day the Xbox he was playing when we had this discussion is something I still hold a grudge against. We still have the old unit because it has a lot of treasured games on it, but I no longer like it, because it reminds me of that kid.

Daughters never really get over their relationships with their dads. They may go for great periods of time without talking, but if they have strong fathers who spent time teaching them things, there is a bond there that lasts entire lifetimes. I know very hard-core women in their declining years who still love their dads who have long since died. I know even more women who had bad relationships with their fathers who turned out to be screwed up messes. A father is a very important job to a daughter and it is one that I always took very serious. Never too intrusive, but protective to their very souls—not in the type of neurotic fashion so prevalent in modern comedies, but in ways that only literature has managed to even remotely deal with.

So watching Dakota Johnson step into the back of an ISIS truck is exactly the way I felt every time my daughters left the house with a pack of boys destined for trouble. And the nonchalant manner that the skit ended, “Don’t worry dad, we’ll take it from here,” is precisely the way modern males see such daughters—as objects of possession and conquest destined for their penises—and it angers every cell in my body. Every young man felt just as the Saturday Night Live skit showed as my daughters dated. They were all terrorists to the hopes and dreams I had for my kids and were dangerous.

The SNL skit would have had to go to some common extreme such as ISIS to paint the feelings that most dads who really care about their daughters feel when their children leave home. For boys, it’s different. You smack the young tike in the back of the head and congratulate him for having a woman or two on his arm throwing themselves aimlessly at his whims. Boys get congratulated for winning races, and throwing touchdown passes in games of conquest which girls are just one part of. So raising boys is easier.

Girls are the most precious creatures on earth and the world needs many more of them who are good, and it takes good dads to help make good girls—and it’s a hard job. So I laughed at the skit not for the controversy, but for the potent exposure it had of such a raw truth. For me, every young boy who wanted to date my daughters might as well have been a member of ISIS—an aimless terrorist hell-bent on ideological destruction laughing at me and damning death to America. That is exactly how it feels. But the story doesn’t end there. There is much more that comes after and for that, dads are still needed—probably more so than less. And it takes a lot of personal understanding and confidence to embrace that role when there isn’t any glamour or glitz to the job of being a good dad.

That brought up another question I had for which there is no answer. I grew up loving Don Johnson, Dakota’s real dad in the television show Miami Vice. I always liked him as an actor. So I was curious how he could attend the Saturday Night Live broadcast and actually make fun of the fact that his little girl had just made Fifty Shades of Grey showing herself completely nude to the world. She was so naked in the movie that they had to have a makeup person insert public hair on Dakota Johnson to be true to the spirit of the best-selling novel. How could Don Johnson perform that skit and even make fun of it? Even in jest? I suppose some people play good dads, and some people just aren’t. And that’s also why I’m not an actor. I couldn’t do that for all the gold in the world. You can’t grow up loving and caring for a young daughter all your life then revel in her public exposure and dissemination all the while casting jokes. There was a lot wrong about the SNL evening staring Dakota Johnson, but it wasn’t the ISIS skit itself. It was the theme of dads and how they are a dying breed in our culture disrespected and ridiculed by a progressive society. And I’m not OK with that.

 

Rich Hoffman

 CLIFFHANGER RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT

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